I miss my baby

I sure do miss my baby because it's been almost two months since I last saw her inside the womb of his mother. If I can get back time, I would change everything so that the baby and the woman would still be with me. I am tired of taking a backseat from her or any other person. There is one Filipino saying: ''If there is a way, then there is. If make a excuse, a lot of reasons.''

I have no words to say for my baby but I hope he knows it well that daddy loves him and I will continue to fight no matter how hard life is or unfair his mother now to me.

Fighting for something, I will never back out because I am making that transition from resident angel to a hated devil to the eyes of many people. I am not hiding that people see me as a nuisance or someone that distracts team chemistry.

Now, I am facing the daunting tasks of the best conversation with my father and getting back the mother of that angel....Hope we can get back on track.

Goodbye my Baby

The waning days of February and early days of March was the lowest point of my life. Not just i lost everything but i feel more alone and unimportant. Instead of writing in my blog on those days, i feel vulnerable to depression. And i lost my baby because my girl had an abortion and broke up with me. I feel so depressed and i cried so much because she wants to give up a life she and I created because of a promise.

Since that arguments, i am so depressed that i don't want to live anymore. March 9, 2015, the last time my baby breathed until he was no more. That part of my life made me more angry at myself and i feel prone to crying very hard when i talk about it with people so close to me. As i write this article, i feel crying deep inside my heart that this is a result of my incompetence and being too idealistic while i wasn't able to protect her from the painful words of evil persons and the temporal world's insincere.

I thought it was a happy ending but it flamed out like a hot-air balloon. It is just despite her words that she doesn't love me anymore and don't talk to me, i still love her. I don't know why i still love her. It is just i am too kind to betray my feelings or too emotional to break everything.

I hope prayers for my little angel would be heard by God.

I wish that God enlightened her mind now and make her realize i never left her despite her mistakes. All i did is to love and hoped for a happy family no matter what challenge I encounter.

Every time i pray for my angel every night, i simply cry out of emotional pain and it's very hard for me to bear it.

Goodbye Masahiko, my little angel.