My Body Breaking up

I am walking to the nearest station after using my bicycle as I felt something weird on my right knee. Some clues? Well I don't know for now. Maybe I have to work and work but since my lack of Japanese language hinders me from going to a Hospital, that stands out well.

I hope this are all false alarms because I have an eerie feeling that I am going to have a torn ACL(Acute Cruciate Ligament) because there are at times I feel there would be a pop on my right knee. 

Look. In the new generation does ACL's appear to be frequent. I don't even know why but most athletes before rarely got an ACL. Sounds fishy? Modern training facilities and team doctors would not be enough to prevent if it is an ACL. I have numbness on my legs when it is very cold and I unsuspectingly bent one of my legs and I woke up in sheer agony. Does that mean I am eligible for ACL?

I wish NO!! Because I have a future to build and I am not a sportsguy that earns millions. Hope not!!!

How does it feel to lose someone important?

I've been through this situation a lot and i want to share my experiences. I lost friends, family members and most especially, my future. It could be hard for most people but this is what i have to tell everyone.

Most of the time i am heartbroken, so i am not new to these things. I lost opportunities because my past girlfriends would break up with me for no good reason. I felt there reason is just my young age and immaturity. I don't know if asserting myself would even up everything now. I lack the power so, it frustrates me a lot because i am often powerless. I wish now i have unlimited power so that, it will never happen.

What i am doing now is taking opportunity after opportunity and become much of an opportunist these days since i am tired of losing. I lost like, 4 girlfriends and all of them had been hard to me. I almost killed myself and i  lost the will to live. Now, i could be facing another loss and i don't know what would be me if she would leave me for another selfish reason. If that's the case, i would swim again in depression and i may suffer much worse emotional breakdown in succession.