Journey to Fatherhood

Yes, it is confirmed. I am still young but i will be a daddy. That is full time or part time as they say it now. I went with my girl now and this was a big sacrifice on my part. I will begin being a father from scratch, which is true. Every father even my dad had gone through it. But i am ready to face it all, because of my girl who is willing to go through with me all the way. People could tell me i am selfish for leaving my family behind but it is for their own sake, since every time i am there, dad or mom will open up controversy after controversy.

And God made a way for me to be here. It is just i carried three bags with my backpack and i went to the station and like, everyone is looking at me. Of course, i suffered in my own decisions. But for the good of my parents and taking care of my pregnant wife, i settled down with her.

The hospital stay in the future is tough, bills, etc, etc and etc. But with God's power, my hope for the future remains optimistic since i know deep down inside, all i want is to do good and not to harm.

Filipinska Pravoslavna Crkva(Budućnost?)

When i was in an unspecified canonical Orthodox church in my homeland, i envisioned of having all canonical churches(Greek, Russian, Antiochian(Antiochians are however not recognized by the Greeks) churches) in my homeland. Between what i saw on their missions, the Russians are more active in the true evangelization of my country, spreading rapidly than the Greeks. 

When people see the light, they will do everything for it no matter what. That happens as some Philippine Aglipayan churches(2 Archbishops, 8 priests and all parishes) joined the Russian mission followed by another Aglipayan diocese. Would i even see a Roman Catholic diocese join the Russian Mission as well? Let's see.

I saw everything even if i am here in Japan and feels optimistic the true grace of God will be felt by all Filipinos in the future.

Now, the hopes of at least an autonomous church in my homeland regardless of Russian or Greek Archbishop of true Filipino descent will be feasible in the future, though there is a saying: "small beginnings have a brighter future."

When will i become a father?

How many times i told my chatmates and close friends i want to become a father anytime. I felt time is running out even if i am just 22. Because no girl would want to have a future with me. I may explain some because it is hard to understand me often.

When i chatted with an ex girlfriend, i told her i regretted that i am going here to Japan before having her pregnant. A circumstance was that, she was attending a school play and she couldn't do it with me even if she desires it. That was disappointing to me because three months later, my parents made that stupid effort that broke me and her. I felt my parents were not trustworthy when it comes to my relatioships.  I was like two years having no girlfriend.

Then i met a workmate that made me more disappointed. Not being able to make one and later my mom put an end to this relationship by creating a falsehood, making me against her till i found out the truth, that was late was somehow grueling to me.

I was 19 and 22(i am currently) and some of my colleagues or close friends have babies already. It makes me a lower person, seeing them happy despite not having a job like mine that i support my extended family but i cannot have my own future. I don't know if God doesn't want me to have a baby of my own.

I often relied on some to get a pictures, out of envy that i can only have a baby on a picture. I may post it on facebook but it doesn't mean it is my own baby.

I wish that day will come, on a woman i truly desire and to be with in the future.