This is CONFUSING

I thought it was the right time to move on. I thought she would not mail and apologize to me. I thought everything was OVER. And then out of nowhere, she mailed me and my whole life became more confused because i wasn't prepared for this.

Confusing is the fact that she mailed me a lot of times goodbye and other hurtful things.

Is it really that easy to forgive? I admit i have feelings for her but i cannot forgive that she aborted the baby. It is just i have this feeling that no woman wants to have a relationship with me and i have this feeling of she is my soulmate no matter what happens today, sounds confusing?

See, I am a guy that is week in women or in true sincerity. I may have to see if she is very sincere now because it is hard to instill values on someone's prideful head this and that without forcing the person to do it. It's hard and i will not force anything unlike before.

When she apologized, it was like sincere and she even sent me a picture of me and her. And she missed my body, since she feels it is very warm and she feels love everytime I am near her.

It makes me think that Love moves in a mysterious way. Or God has some plans for me and her more than what happened in the past few months.

Blame Game

Remember the airplane crash that killed everyone on board especially Polish President Lech Kaczynski and his beaten up body found it's way in Bestgore and other sites? Reading is my obvious weapon against ignorance, so when i found this recently in B92 Engleski, do you have to blame the Russians for his accidental death? 

Regional prosecutor Colonel Ireneusz Szelag said that Polish military investigators have asked their Russian counterparts to facilitate questioning of the controllers who were communicating with the presidential plane as it attempted to land in poor visibility at a rudimentary airport in Smolensk on April 10, 2010, AP said.

Szelag said that one of the controllers was charged with direct responsibility, the other with indirect responsibility, and that prosecutors "also charged some Polish officials who organized the flight and appointed the crew, which was not licensed to fly under poor visibility." 

What these investigators do is another EU blame game, which they are good at. Why would you try to cause someone's death if they your not fascists or some spies? I kee on telling everyone, blaming Russia for the late Polish president's death is one damn mistake.

To Be like Western Media?

Superman doesn't disappoint in making me laugh or making me look dumb than what he tries to tell the Serbian people. Can i tell him the Prime Minister by name? It's disappointing that politicians like him idolize the Western media, the media that attacked them during the 90's. Well, with all that said, we can't expect for a free Serbia until Vučić is not anymore the premier.

Here is what i read in B92 recently:

"The Serbian government has adopted a series of laws to strengthen the freedom and independence of the media, which was one of the priorities of this government at the time of its formation," a statement from the government press office quoted Vučić as saying.

"We will be your partners - I want this region to go forward, but we will not achieve that without freedom of the media, and that is my only objective," Mijatović said. 

Disappointing from a true free person's point of view, right?

Beong too Soft

All the time, people criticize me for being too soft. Ok, I acknowledge being soft but does it make sense when they know that i am fighting so that i can erase the "soft" label on me and they see me as doing nothing? 

People realize what you are doing only when you play the hero for everyone's sake. Only when you do a physical good.

Against the 21st Century apathy, people just can see your ignorant even if your not. See? I am still right. Giving yourself a bit of tension to learn how to fight could be the best way to shed the "soft" label than to pretend your strong. People these days may need extracurricular classes and i am guilty of it as well. No jokes but it is what i truly need if i want to survive in a brutal and unfair world of adult life.

Better Die Trying than to be Ignorant

Depressive as I am, i want to live my life, according to my principles regardless of my family or my status in society. Why can't i be happy if i only desire what is right and what is love? 

When people say it's me, they think i am weird or something and that's what they think of me. I can't do anything with that because it's their perception of me. Anyways, it's better to try than doing nothing. I will die than being ignorant all the way. If i have a personal battle against apathy, then be it. Death is part of life but if you know you don't do anything bad, then go for it.

God gives you challenges to overcome eventually. Sometimes we think he doesn't take action or he is sleeping on us. But despite it, we still have to pray for guidance and strength because we, humans will do the talking often, God is there because he will not let us down all the way.

Bombardije Godišnjica

Well, NATO destroyed a once proud country of Serbia. Being a NATO critic and pro-Serbian supporter, i wish my friends who were affected by these tragic events to live on and give their best in a much better future.

By the way, why was NATO attacking a tiny nation?

Simple. Help their Albanian terrorist friends to steal a strip of land in the Southern part, which turned out to be the Serbian Jerusalem, Kosovo, which the Kosovo Albanian terrorists wanted to get so that they can expand their Albanized lands and to merge with Turkey of course when the Balkans would be overrun by Turkish-Albanian imperialist ambitions while the world never saw the atrocities committed against the Serbian people because of a news blackout.

News Blackout? How did the rapist Bill Clinton, Javier Solana, Wesley Clark and other culprits conspired to destroy a country that neither attacked nor threatened other NATO states? To get out Monica Lewinsky off the headlines and to portray the Serbs as villains and to pretend they are saving ''refugees'' which is the wag the dog warfare these days.

May the souls of the Serbs who perished be memorialized and give us the will to protect our lives from the true enemies.

Live On!!

It's over for me again. I lost again. But it doesn't mean that i will jail myself forever in my hell. I slowly realized from my friends that moving on is the greatest thing i can do now and not hope on a person that trashed me despite my feelings still there.

I still admit i have feelings for her but the way she trashed me(argued with me, breaking me up, aborting the baby i cherished for and replacing me while making me pay an abortion debt) made me feel frustrated and time to leave her totally because i already felt she doesn't want a family and that i heard from her friends that she doesn't want me anymore.

Moving on is hard but i must do it. I want to take my close friends by mentioning their initials(GC, JY and others) and for making me realize that life still there. Now, i must focus on my faith and my family and if ever she comes back without any conditions, i will leave everything to God.