Happiness, Sacrifice and Love

I had a busy week. Yes, updating my blog could be time consuming, especially that my work has 2 hours overtime. But let's get to my article.

Every single day, I hope for marriage. Everytime I daydream, it makes me feel it will happen, with my only girl. How can a marriage be successful? Simple. Three words; Happiness, Sacrifice and Love.

Happiness-While still as boyfriend-girlfriend, I won't go and enjoy by myself with discoes and parties, but showing to my girl I can do it! And then after the future wedding day, I'll make that simple but happy family life come true.

Sacrifice-Talk about it and make sure the problems will be kept low. Of course! Know the answers to every problems that occur, surprisingly or unsurprisingly.

LOVE-Without this word, there will be no trust. It's not just mentioning this word over and over again, but doing it!

With these three words, seeds of a happy family life will happen. It won't be overnight, but by God's grace and our patience, we won't lose what simple prayer and hopes we have.

Because of you

Whether or not a part in my life was disaster or full of failures, I made this far in a happy life. I credit my girlfriend for becoming the light in my life, and the one I'll build and give my very future with. It's not an easy thing to say these things when there are still a lot of challenges to come, but it's safe to tell everyone that I am happy, blessed and powerful with you.

Happy-Because of course, through the best and challenging times we are on a relationship, at the end of the day, I made you smile and you made me smile and laugh as well. It's true happiness.

Blessed-I believe she was fated to meet me that day, and ever since I pray to God that loving her is my promise. Meeting her inside a church was one of the biggest blessings I received and will protect.

Powerful-She realizes my potential, regardless of what I lack. My blog, Facebook live streams, posts and YouTube videos, she appreciates what little or big I do. That's when I'm brimming with confidence and power

To the day comes we will be together happily, I know that we are meant for each other. Age doesn't matter, nor where we came from. What matters is we love each other and it's God's will. Because of you, I am happy, blessed and powerful!

Protecting Love

How many times I fell or tried to get back into life. I want to live because of love and    the future that is for me. I may need to do much bigger things because if I won't, everything will be lost. All I am praying and hoping is that with my princess, I will have a happy family.

Happy family, it's not impossible actually. All I need is to focus on my Japanese and finally have my body to full strength as well. I am also depending on God's guidance so that I can make the best decisions, making it possible to experience true happiness. 

I will also protect her from the criticisms everyone throw at her or at me. I won't be scared to protect her because I love her. It's something I won't back down. I will fight for a better future with her even if it costs me some of my family members/friends' support for me. It's a sacrifice as well because I will start a new life with my future wife. A future of true happiness and sacrifices.

One day, it will happen and a wedding blessed by God through the priest and with everyone witnessing.

Why J-Dramas are better to watch

I've been addicted to Japanese dramas but not this much, especially when I found out about a 1999 Drama series named Majo no Jōken (魔女の条件) that shows us the story of  a teacher named Hirose Michi(Matsushima Nanako) and a deliquent yet spoiled brat Kurosawa Hikaru(Takizawa Hideaki). It's somehow surprising that it's not just a simple teacher-student relationship but also fighting through all the pains they face against the world and with each other. It also mirrors real life but in a twist: they remained with each other till the end. In real life, most teacher-student relationships that hopes for romance and true love ended up failing(big exception is that of Mary Kay Letorneau).

Speaking of J-Dramas, they are dark, serious but better to understand than Korean or Taiwanese Dramas. In Korean and Taiwanese dramas, love is focused and mostly happy endings. Happy ending everytime makes no sense at all. But in Jdrama, you can see the main characters themselves struggle to either be happy with the flow or just to survive whether they have everything or not. There are times that the ending so vague but it's worth to watch, since it has a lot of "twists" along the way.

Love, love, love

Having an unforgettable date last Sunday, it will be my starting point with her. I am starting to know her but still have a lot of progress. Hopefully, it will lead to what I dreamed of:

1. Happy Family
2. A Family that goes to church every Sunday and prays at home.
3. Having kids.
4. Working and earning.
5. Growing old with each other.

It's not impossible because now, I am feeling she is really for me.  I don't mind if she's older than me or the language barrier(I am learning more Japanese words with her) but the feelings for each other. All my hope is that to make her feelings burst more when I am with her since she is knowing how I show my love to her.

Some people criticize me for my choice but it's God's will for me, that's why I will cherish every single second, minute, hour, days, years and eternity with her. I truly love her, my beautiful princess.

True Love is not easy but not impossible

Yeah, I am daydreaming all the time at work. I can't focus myself on politics or religious issues because I am in love.(Laughs). She's like a princess to me regardless of the age gap she and I are into. And she attends divine liturgies, the very woman I am praying for to God.

Of course, true love is not easy to achieve but, not impossible because there's a mutual understanding between you and the person. It's not easy because there's a lot of options. We don't know if one of them is your true soulmate or just another lessons learned. But it's not impossible because it happens all the time.

Maybe we fall often or rarely but very depressing but, people come into our life to teach us a lesson we need to learn. Life is not easy but we can find love through it all with wonderful hearts joining as one. I hope it happens to me again. I feel my soulmate is just there.

Nothing is left

Writing blogs from the Ukrainian conflict to the ISIS, I enjoyed writing since it's my inner talent. But with that said, is it worth I live only for this? Can't I have a better personal life? All I hope is a happy family but still, I don't even get signs from God not even one. Last week had been one of the most difficult parts in my life. I cried a lot and never got the love I am expecting from her. Even at work I almost cried, due to the pressure of lending her money but at the expense of not getting appreciated or love because of her multiple excuses she doesn't want to talk to.

Threatening to commit suicide if I don't give money or leaving me if I mail her too much, it's so depressing that she ignored my feelings. If I attempt to talk with her, she would make foolish excuses that she is tired and wants a breakup if I mail her aside from evenings, which I feel she never tells something to me.

Selfish and stubborn girl as she is, if she knows I am just waiting for her to love me unconditionally. I never told her she's selfish but she tells me regardless of how good my intentions are. I feel worthless and a lot of times, fighting the thought of suicide just to die naturally or from depression. I am hoping that God never takes her away from me because I am praying every single night so that I can reunite with her.

I still have tears on my eyes and is waiting for a friend to have a heart to heart talk with me to burst into tears once I tell how I am suffering emotionally while she never thought I am, citing a busy schedule as a blatant excuse.

Nothing is left in me if she leaves me or kills herself.........

I cannot break my promise!

Talking with a friend about these things, I remembered my promise. It's kind of disappointing for some of my friends I am still hoping for something on her but it's what my heart is saying. I can't forsake her even if she won't talk to me much. Promise is a promise.

I am giving my best for her since despite what she did to our baby and giving me the hardest time but she still comes back for me. What is it that she cannot forget me totally no matter how hard she wants? Is it my money but my assurance? If it is just money, then forget her once she does it. But if she believes in me all the way, then I will never give up.

If she only hears this, I will never break that promise I told her. I must not lose this time or else, I am undeserving of the love I am hoping for eventually.

Destiny's Play

When you give too much attention, she will push you back. If you totally ignore her, she will come back, saying sorry. She never gave me the best time but a harder one, citing my softness to create this stupidity of playing my feelings. Not being a Hypocrite, I still have feelings for her but limiting it, because she might repeat it again.

It's annoying that she is like that and still can't get what she did. I realized my own mistake and that is being too undecisive because people push me so much that I tend to crumble too often that I failed to live up to the expectations.

My failures I can't reverse that faster is the reason I am still soft. People will just notice I am too soft but it doesn't mean I cannot be strong in the future. Maybe, this is still my training ground although I want to graduate from it as soon as possible to practice more of an adult than a child.  I just want to deny that Destiny is making a play out of it since it is very playful and i hate jokes too often that it annoys me more than to be thrilled.

Here's the case. All of my ex-girlfriends never mailed me or only one of them rarely makes those hello but my recent ex would change mind too often. I don't really know why even if I want to move on completely.

Breaking the Curse

 

Ya, I put the picture of Kevin Durant being cursed by the hated rapper Lil B. But does it have connection to my article? 

Yes! Of course.

Because I told almost everyone I knew that I am cursed in one particular topic. Women. Why I said so? It is because for the past few years, I knew no woman can love me so much even if I gave everything I can or the love I am willing to give because of a sacrifice. I believe in God more than these things but I still can't break the curse of being rejected by women. I don't know if someone put a curse on me that no woman will last long for me or will reject me no matter how good my intentions are.

Suffering from losing my baby means I need to fight now for myself. I still worry though if someone would love me much more than her and those that left me. That is why I would rather focus on working than having a girlfriend again. Maybe time can tell if someone would love me more.

Is it worth the second chance?

I can't think so much of a better thing. The thing is, I gave her that second chance. Is it worth it? What if she squanders it again and breaks the promise again? My best friend recently told me that the girl is one big fool because I fought for her and everything and she broke everything and now, wants that second chance...

Could I be wrong?

I may have been a fool but giving her a chance is worth it, since I am too soft to go away from her. She is my weakness because the person I loved, no matter how evil she is, is the one girl i desire because of love and not because to correct her or because I feel sorry to her but I truly love her.

If you would be in my situation, what would you do? Would you give her that second chance or just move on completely?

This is CONFUSING

I thought it was the right time to move on. I thought she would not mail and apologize to me. I thought everything was OVER. And then out of nowhere, she mailed me and my whole life became more confused because i wasn't prepared for this.

Confusing is the fact that she mailed me a lot of times goodbye and other hurtful things.

Is it really that easy to forgive? I admit i have feelings for her but i cannot forgive that she aborted the baby. It is just i have this feeling that no woman wants to have a relationship with me and i have this feeling of she is my soulmate no matter what happens today, sounds confusing?

See, I am a guy that is week in women or in true sincerity. I may have to see if she is very sincere now because it is hard to instill values on someone's prideful head this and that without forcing the person to do it. It's hard and i will not force anything unlike before.

When she apologized, it was like sincere and she even sent me a picture of me and her. And she missed my body, since she feels it is very warm and she feels love everytime I am near her.

It makes me think that Love moves in a mysterious way. Or God has some plans for me and her more than what happened in the past few months.

Nada za budućnost

Having no regrets even if there is still a long way to go, i am hoping for a much better thing to happen. I will not let things slip anymore because i made a promise to God. That is, show everyone what true love and reject any means of hatred. I am very happy that i met her. I am happy she is willing to sacrifice for me too because i am sacrificing more for my future and not just for the present times. I will never forsake things now because every moment counts and every tears will be converted to smiles, an honest smile.

Despite the impure generation's insincerities, i am willing to go through the pains set for me. This is because no one will be a better person without pain and tears. I am dependent so much all my life but i will not go astray from my path but no matter how far it would be, i will love her so much because this is my future and happiness.

Is this how i pay the price of true love?

Speaking of true love, i am paying the price of it. What people don't know is that i want to be with that girl no matter what. It is because i locked myself with her intentionally, meaning she will be that girl that i will live through the joys and pains. It is because i love her despite her facial defects or what people spread as a made up rumors.

However, my whole family would rather end up defaming for her look despite the fact she is Japanese. Is it fair to judge her by her face and not by her heart and desire to live? Haven't everyone noticed i am teaching her to pray and have a strong perception of life unlike before she met me? Is it that simple to choose my parents because they are my parents? Is that simple to leave someone i truly love and that very same girl that loved me more than my past relationships?

I don't took her for granted but i showed everyone i loved her despite her past or somewhat, my passiveness because i am being locked by my parents no how hard i want to get out of my leash. But i don't want to wait to have a baby with her but to build it now. I hope God make a way for me to be with her, even if it makes me lose much more. The more the pressure my parents are practicing, the more i want to go out and be with her for the rest of my life.

Thou shall not choose thy want alone.

Why people these days are having a relationship for want and not need? Most people are too selfish and not thinking of a happy family. Is it all money that people think as their God?!!? I simply hate the way this generation is thinking. Becoming gold-diggers for personal gain and not having a happy family.

The reason i chose that girl is because not she is Japanese and can give me that Visa i am seeking but because she gave me a new reason to live. A love that encompasses everything within sight. A love that no one will do because of her appearance. A love that God will give as a test and as a vow itself. Can't most people choose what love truly is? I haven't finished college yet but i was educated in the way Christians have, that is why i have taken it by heart.

Not all people have good intentions but all i want is that people will see what good intentions are truly taught us and why we should take it by heart.

Th First Stone

I would first mention the bible passage i am pertaining to and why i made this article.

But as they continued to ask him, he looked up and said to them, “Let the one who is without sin among you throw the first stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground with his finger. When they heard this, they began to leave, one by one, starting from the oldest. Jesus was left alone with the woman where she was, in the middle. Standing up, Jesus said, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Sir.” Jesus replied, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way! And from now on, sin no more.” 

It could pertain to how Mary Magdalne survived the traditional stoning sentence during her time by our Lord Jesus Christ. But for me, i made it because of i am against this one. Facial Discrimination.

I have my girlfriend now. She may not be beautiful and has an face that no one wants to be with but who cares if she is normal and only needs love?

Has people only seen the one side of the coin that they want is riches? Fame? All they want is to continually win by tampering on others' existence just because of their face? That's not human! Jesus taught us to be fair and love our neighbors including our enemies because he simplified the ten commandments into the commandment of love, which i learned from my spiritual priest in the Orthodox Church. I knew Jesus made it either hard or easy for people but if everyone would do it for the common good of all, everything would be alright in this temporary world.

Ljubav-Love-すき-Pag Ibig

Why love is important? Many answers differ but i have my own as well. If this answer is for you, you may agree with me as well. Love is unconditional. Yes, that's my answer. I have said this a lot to my peers and past relationships but it is who i am truly. I won't even lie to a woman i truly love but be much more of an honest man. I maybe crazy when it comes to love but i am innocent and never commit such bad things by most men these days like lying, cheating and more.

Love is, however, an acceptance of what any imperfections or bad past a man/woman has in order to attain true love. No love can be attained by perfections. Rather, seeing each others' weakness is the best way to attain it. Helping each other, taking care, filling the gaps, and most especially, loving more and more without the sins of other people.

I don't really mind the looks or where the woman came from as long a God gave me her and to show her how i love a woman despite everything i lack or some things that she wants that i can't give. I hope some people have that mentality i grew with, thanks to my upbringing and my willingness to do more good than bad. People make mistakes but i strive harder and harder because every human deserves to be loved and cared for. I believe in that and would love more than remember my darkest past relationships.

True love can lead to a successful future family because all good things were made by love. Of course, love is blind but love is unconditional If you want to know what love is, start now and look for someone that will lead you to true love in your future. God knows that when a good person loves, he/she will be blessed by a powerful yet, simple description of love.

Why i always love older women

From the movie "Summer of 42"

This could be my embarrassing post ever. Well, i won' even lie to people because liers go to hell. I never fall in love until i was like 9 or 13. It was a vague story even to me because i have too many things to think these days than most of my colorful past.

All i can mention is that when i was 9, i saw this Math Teacher. She was the most beautiful woman i ever saw. No pun intended because i was still a kid back then. I was too innocent. Then came another teacher when i was 13. It made my whole life crazy ever since. I fell in love with another math teacher but this time, married. Whoa. I gave her some secret letters and this, i don't know what are they and the school called my mom secretly. When i came home one day, she was crying and she told me not to talk to her. Hey, i did and i was ashamed. Although one year later at an academic competition i am representing for the History subject i am part of, i saw her on a window and bid me goodluck. I was like, blushing since i never talked to her since those incident.

I choose older women because i felt they are mature, sweet, passionate and loyal. And when she made love with me, i will give my very best to make her my baby and to make her feel i am old enough to be a man and not younger than her.

Ever since, i had my first girlfriend during my final year in my High School, she was 5 years older than me although it lasted a month. My next one is during the same year, 8 years older than me but she broke up with me by pretending to love me and show i am just a friend to her in just 5 months! I almost committed suicide after because of the heart brake she caused my young heart. She was the girl i gifted a lingerie set. I was 16 and under aged but wanted to marry her and have kids with her one day. I had another girlfriend, a single mom but exchanged me for a tomboy. My next one is 4 years older than me, who kissed me much better than my 2nd ex but when my dad discovered i am not Catholic(i am in Japan and she was back in my homeland), she sacrificed it to save me from my dad. I will have my 5th but i chose to break up because of her attitude of breaking me up, deleting or any means of hurting my feelings.

As of now, i am happy with although missing my girl. I don't want to lose her just because of any circumstances. When i love, it means i will give my very best for her even if i will suffer some injuries or emotional breakdowns, i will fight and she is motivation. I hoped one day, she will be the girl i will introduce to God at the altar and i will kiss, hug and have babies with. Love is blind, even if she is older than me by a year, i don't mind because i love unconditionally.

Šta Ljubavi znači mene

My love is always there, reading every day in these verses, couple, what your heart always write and leave you a gift.

What is love for me? Why i fall in love so much? Why all the fuzz about love? Well, love has many meanings for people around us. For some, love is blind, love is love, love is exciting. But for me, love is the grace of God that was given to us because of what we should instill to everyone's hearts. Nothing short of things i want to tell but, each of us can love or make love or teach true love without making a sin.

How i would do love when i am given an opportunity? Of course, a man/woman who would be given opportunity should seize the chance since love is unconditionally given once in a while. And i will cherish that moment with her.

It hurts a lot when people use love for themselves or to gain something that is bad to someone that has good morale character. How i wish those people who think love is not precious should read this.

When it comes to love, it may not be learned from anyone but gained through experience, education and one's desire to feel/make true and honest love. That's on my mind actually and what we should do. When it comes to love, let's be serious and not play a joke!