The waning days of February and early days of March was the lowest point of my life. Not just i lost everything but i feel more alone and unimportant. Instead of writing in my blog on those days, i feel vulnerable to depression. And i lost my baby because my girl had an abortion and broke up with me. I feel so depressed and i cried so much because she wants to give up a life she and I created because of a promise.
Since that arguments, i am so depressed that i don't want to live anymore. March 9, 2015, the last time my baby breathed until he was no more. That part of my life made me more angry at myself and i feel prone to crying very hard when i talk about it with people so close to me. As i write this article, i feel crying deep inside my heart that this is a result of my incompetence and being too idealistic while i wasn't able to protect her from the painful words of evil persons and the temporal world's insincere.
I thought it was a happy ending but it flamed out like a hot-air balloon. It is just despite her words that she doesn't love me anymore and don't talk to me, i still love her. I don't know why i still love her. It is just i am too kind to betray my feelings or too emotional to break everything.
I hope prayers for my little angel would be heard by God.
I wish that God enlightened her mind now and make her realize i never left her despite her mistakes. All i did is to love and hoped for a happy family no matter what challenge I encounter.
Every time i pray for my angel every night, i simply cry out of emotional pain and it's very hard for me to bear it.
Goodbye Masahiko, my little angel.
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