Despite the obvious hell on earth I am going through, God is still there. It is just I am impatient all the time. The way I am suffering could be the way I will not suffer in the future. God knows all I want is to have a happy family. That's right. Happy family.
Losing my child doesn't mean I turn away from God. It may be the way I never give up despite all the real life turbulence I am getting in this temporal life.
I am slowly realizing that depression can awaken the warrior inside of me instead of making me give up. There are times I tried to give up but God, through my confessor and a great priest keeps me alive by a prayer.
I am a sinner by my own terms but it doesn't mean I turn away from God. People tend to forget God just because they lose money or their loved ones. Me? I have a long way to go. I hope God answers my prayers that I can have a biological child with her and marriage at the same time. It's not on my intentions to publicize my story but show to everyone, don't give up and God will never leave you because your alive and well.
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